Cannabis Conspiracy: A Sativa Spectre Story (Pakalōlō Pirates 2020)
Aloha Pua Mana ‘Ohana!
Greetings Ganja Gumshoes…of da Future…
A long time ago in a multi-verse far far away…
On this day, a one, Captain James Cook, met his demise — due to a misunderstanding — involving, a supposed, stolen row boat.
Captain Cook thought it would be wise to take human hostages as leverage to hold for the return of a ridiculous row boat — that day he learned a very valuable lesson — there are those of us who value ‘Ohana = Family, far, far, above material possessions…
That fateful day was February 14th 1778.
It is now February 14th 2020 & da Forces of Darkness are on the rise — once again — attempting to canna-consolidate dakine “Cannabis Industry” under their pathetic, poser, Pakalōlō Pirate flag.
Our Dank Detectives have amassed a Mauka = “Mountain” of Evidence” connecting this canna-con crew to a nefarious inter-national Nug-Nazi Crusty-Custy Cannabis Cartel:
Stay tuned — as we break-out a bodacious bogus baddie bud bust — of epic Pakalōlō proportions…
Everyone has heard of a cyber bully — but have you swam with the Sativa-Sharks in the THC Tank — that is the internet?
When Pua Mana ‘Ohana went online to announce our Hawaiian Pakalōlō Preservation project — Pua Mana 1st Hawaiian Pakalōlō Seed Bank — Our Genetic Specialists joined a few online forums & social media platforms to spread da Good News about dakine Hawaiian Healing of da Nations.
We soon found a crew of Pakalōlō Pirates pretending to represent HI — who moved to Maui in 2010 — and began importing countless pounds of mainland midz, labeled as popular Cannabis Cup Winners, for marketing purposes. These hash haters had become bold after making money on Maui during a period when local Hawaiian Pakalōlō Farmers were being put out of business.
Their Canna-Cyber-Bully Crew began intimidating local Keiki (Children) & Kūpuna (Wise Elders) who would share Mana’o (Knowledge) about Hawaiian Pakalōlō online.
When Pua Mana ‘Ohana confronted these ignorant ignoramuses on their lack of etiquette, style & overall knowledge of Hidden Hawaiian History — they used their pull to have our Mana’o (Knowledge) deleted from many websites & our ‘Ohana (Family) members blocked.
Originally, it seemed strain-ge, that those who would profess to Love Pakalōlō & Hawai’i, would work so hard to fight old school strains like Maui Wowie & Kona Gold from resurfacing.
We soon learned that What A Great Emcee Once Rhymed Was indeed True:
“When it comes to money — things get funny” ~ RZA — The Man With The Iron Fists
Sure enough — all the Hash Haters were connected — through an internet forum called International Cannagraphic.
On that forum they created their bogus seedbank Greyskull Seeds & utilized Administrator privileges to censor all Mana’o (Knowledge) contrary to their uneducated opinions.
Greyskull Seeds Sativa-Scurvy virus soon spread to Instagram — where a Cannabis-Cup-Con Instagram Sham Show was utilized to trick unsuspecting locals into believing Greyskull Seeds had “Award Winning Genetics”.
Other new “Seed Banks” began attending these invite only challenge-less challenges — with 20 or so friends — judging one & others weed to be “Award Winning“. They took many selfies with plastic “Hawai’i” Champion Belts — bogus bud belts that they ordered online from some foreign plastic belt making company.
A look at their phony photos will reveal how few people attend their invite only events, providing an extremely disproportionate look at our Hawaiian Pakalōlō Community.
Local Growers were still unsure about going online to share Mana’o (Knowledge). We still had Green Harvest Helicopters flying over our homes here in Hawai’i.
Cyber Bullies & Pakalōlō Pirates made it even mo’ difficult to share Hawaiian Legends — boxing all who had a Good Word to say about Hawaiian Pakalōlō, out of their cyber canna-chat rooms — as all they were concerned with was selling Greyskull Seed Pakalōlō Pirate packs.
Utilizing Cannabis Industry Industrial Espionage techniques — Pakalōlō Pirates began their attempted take-over of dakine HI “Cannabis Industry“.
After Pua Mana ‘Ohana proved Hawaiian Genetics are indeed (or should we say in-weed) legitimate — with tons of satisfied customers, lab tests & photography of our Hawaiian Pakalōlō Preservation Work — new so-called Hawaiian Seed Companies attempted to steal our styles & shade our shine…
We soon learned all of these new companies were also connected…
In the 007 Movie: Spectre — We see an organization with many workers in a room monitoring screens — with diabolical plots of worldwide-weed dank-domination.
In a ridiculous “reality” reflection a Sativa-Spectre Cannabis-Cartel is doing exactly that!
Cyber Bullies, Trolls & Fake Dreadlocks…”oh my…“
Our 00-420 MMJ at Her Majesty Sativa-Service Online ‘Ohana in both O’ahu & Oregon (Pua Mana ‘Ohana 00 Branch = O’ahu ‘Ohana & Oregon ‘Ohana) discovered these devious dready donks deceit during a web surfing & serving seminar.
Severe servings have been rendered to Pakalōlō Pirate posers who perpetrated.
Fo’ mo’ info (along wit A Few Good Laughs) check out hashtag:
Though Pakalōlō Pirate Ganja Gangs, literally, Ganged up on us — attempting to use fake internet Pakalōlō Profiles to spread hate & misinformation — What a Great Man Once Sang remains true:
“Who Jah Bless
No One Curse” ~ Bob Marley
Our Dank Detectives connected da dots & found there were people profiting off of Pakalōlō who stood to Gain a Great Deal by excluding local Pakalōlō Preservation People from forums & social media.
In Amsterdam we have: T.H.seeds scumbag succubus canna-con artists connected to Colorado & California.
In Oklahoma we have: “San Diego’s Finest” — Greyskull Seeds “Maui” — Pakalōlō Pirates who moved to Maui in 2010 & continued to claim turf in online Weed Wars.
In Las Vegas we have: Big Island Genetics — a Sativa-Shell-Switch Game-Ganja-Gang of utter & complete douche-hood who does not know the 1st thing about Hawaiian Pakalōlō — they just jumped on the bud-band wagon when we released rare endangered Hawaiian Genetics; preserved & protected by Pua Mana ‘Ohana for Hanauna (Generations).
Their Ganja Games are completely see through — like those trendy translucent rolling papers in circulation in the Cannabis Community.
Speaking of circulation…
T.H.seeds & Big Island Genetics are responsible for putting an imposter version of Puna Buddaz into circulation. Named: “Puna Budder” for marketing purposes, this hybrid could not hold a candle to da original Hawaiian Legend.
When we called Big Island Genetics out on their Facebook page for spreading Bogus Imposter Genetics on Big Island — they refused to comment & continued to sell shwag seeds with famous names that did not match up to da Hawaiian Legends.
Research into Big Island Genetics will show you they came to Big Island from Las Vegas & Grow seeds on small lots in Mountain View. Look deeper you will see they are connected to T.H.seeds through their radio show & “Puna Budder“..
Who else has similar style packs, plus canna-connection through their radio show:
“Gotta Read da Label“
Cross Pollination issues continue to arise in Puna — as pollen can travel for miles on dakine sweetly scented tropical breeze.
Names on strains continue to be compromised.
A new Green Thumb epidemic is at hand.
Bunk breeders blends are in circulation — making it a task to decipher what Pakalōlō is real Hawaiian Pakalōlō. Lab tests help — as do eyewitness accounts from Kūpuna (Wise Elders) Who know & Grow dakine.
Now, mo’ den eva, it is important to “read da label” — make sure you are purchasing Pakalōlō ‘Ano Ano (Seeds) from reputable breeders like Pua Mana 1st Hawaiian Pakalōlō Seed Bank.
Our Genetics are only available in licensed Dispensaries & via our ‘Ohana (Family) website @:
Imposter Businesses pretending to be affiliated with out underground Hawaiian Pakalōlō Preservation Movement are now in circulation. Social Media profiles & Forum avatars are offering strains we recently released at a slight discount — with a significant decrease in quality. Those who said what we are doing could not be done, are now saying they were with us all along.
Beware of imitations.
If Pua Mana Pakalōlō…Can
If no know Pua Mana Pakalōlō…No Can
If you have questions about Hawaiian Pakalōlō…ask. Our Genetic Specialists are on-call to answer all of your inquiries & process orders of rare endangered Hawaiian Pakalōlō Genetics released for souvenir & preservation purposes.
Pua Mana ‘Ohana is available through our website “Talk Story” Portal & our Social Media profiles.
Mahalo nui loa (Thank you very much) for representing Pua Mana ‘Ohana & for choosing Hawaiian Genetics for your Garden!!
Aloha a hui hou
Pua Mana ‘Ohana